Artist Ken Yutdanai

ceramic cup and portrait of cup set

approx. 3.5” diameter x 4” height and 7” x 10.5” framed drawing

Artist Statement

If you do not know the darkest side of your heart, you will never know the brightest side of your heart, either.

I came across epilepsy a while ago. This disease has no cure. Even though it isn’t necessarily a life-threatening disease, it leaves sufferers lacking confidence, especially in public spaces. Epilepsy is caused by a malfunctioning brain. Sufferers can become unconscious without warning and endure full-body spasms that can look upsetting to onlookers. Even the mouth of sufferers becomes tense and looks like they are about to bite their own tongue. Upon recovery, many sufferers will have the strong fear of uncertainty and not know when epilepsy will strike again. In the past 10 years, I have tried to describe this fear through my sculptures and paintings. I have created a character called “Gud-Yim” (which translates as Bite-Smile) to tell the story as well as to record my story.

Working with Gud-Yim changed my attitude towards epilepsy. I have learnt how to live with it and let go, even though the sadness and darkness will never fully go disappear. Gud-Yim has a straightforward shape to represent a simple and uncomplicated happiness. Its mouth and fingers represent the darkness and lack of confidence that epilepsy brings. To represent epileptic symptoms that are uncontrollable, I give the nature the control of my art process. For example, for my watercolour painting, I let the colour bleed and overlap other colours naturally and without force. For my ceramic sculpture, I purposely didn’t test the ceramic glaze or sometimes mixed two chemicals that do not usually go well together in my work. The results of both samples may not be perfect, but they are most certainly meaningful. My attitude has changed dramatically which reflects a life with epilepsy. In imperfection, there is beauty, and with imperfections, there are no mistakes.

I created Gud-Yim in order to raise awareness of epilepsy and for people to understand and see the life and work which was created by the force of sadness. Over the 10 years, I have lived and worked with Gud-Yim. I understand that sadness and darkness can guide you towards happiness and light if you learn to live together in harmony with this affliction.

Even though, technologies in the world have changed throughout time, human sadness is still be the same. Ceramics art can inform us of connections within the traditional and contemporary throughout the ages and into the future.

-Yutdanai Sripaiboon